:: Dnubirom .....reverof dna dne eht tilnu won ::

:: Sunday, February 16, 2003 ::

i was thinkin' of goin' to sleep, but what the heck...
my input on girlies... femalez.... the opposite genetilia than mine...

Currently: I am not looking for anybody. I'd like to have someone to talk to everynight.... but i dont'... so i've come to learn to not worry about it. I hope she'll come my way, but.. vvhatever, we'll see....(hopefully before prom?)
so..... yes, i've had crushes before... the longest was from 1st to 6th grade... blah blah..... it started when a friend of mine said " oh, she said she thinks ur cute" and i'm like wow.... ahh shucks.. goofy style.... anyway... then everytime she was in my eye's view, i would just turn away... then 6th grade, my other friend said she liked her, and i'm like "oh... kewl"..... then after school that day.. i'm like... damn, ..... i've liked her for a long time, i've made no move, so y should i continue to feel the way that i do... so it stopped....
anywhoo..... infatuations/crushes have come and gone
.... now, every girl i meet and makes me.... happy(laugh, smile, amuse me, a simple smile for vvhatever reason)... i get infatuated by them, yes, i admit... but they r now short lived... no more than 5 days at the most.... they pass by....... besides... when i forget about them, i'm fine with it... I ALSO have to organize my life style tooo.. .but dammit, it's so hard to have a relationship and save the world at the same time.... and i'm worried that if the villians of this world hurt her, i wouldn't be able to bear it... and also, my feelings for her would be unfair for the safety for the bystanders, innocent, and other people of this world.... it wouldn't be an equal opportunity for everyone else.......
yeah, so....... infatuations run by.... come and go... but hey, friends stay... or at least aquaintances.... and if they need me, they'll call me.... or they don't know me to well, and they'll ask for help, advice, someone to talk to from someone else.. which is fine, cuz as long as u get the help that u needed, then es all good..... BUT REMEMBER, if u have a problem.... u CAN try and deal it out with them so as to..... fix things,...yes, it's not a perfect world, so the outcome wouldn't be what is wanted, ..... sorry to deter u, but dangz it all....... it's not a perfect world.... so make it perfect.... don't abide to the world's bidding, make the world abide to u.... if it was all perfect and utopian (dammit, need to write Utopia thing-a-ma-gig for kaminsky), then it would be boring right?.... well, just like Voltaire's Candide (short book, i advice ua'all to read it) would u rather have a boring life? or a sucky life that can't overlook the little things?........ well, der........ heh... i kid.... there is no easy answer..... each have it's pros and cons.... i think i would lead to the boring life..... but that's me.........
.... hmmm i had more other things to say than my escapades and Candide.... crap......... cuz those were just blah crappy things i didn't need to say
so.... ummmmm
Love... who needs it? everybody does... but i suppose i can wait...
no, not family love,... that's not enough to a human being, i believe... unless ur freaked up in the head in that sort of way. ummmmmm .....
Yeah, infatuations.... that's all it is,... infatuations....!!!! AHHHH........ question: can an infatuation become genuine? A DIABOLICAL SCHEME TIS ES! *clench fist in air...
for the answer doesn't rely in me,... it relies in ur own actions......or fate? ahh! fate... that'll get me in the God subject...don't get me started... ok.. i'l stick to the gist: IF God know's what ur actions will be, then he'll know u'll go to Hell right?.... so were u meant to go to Hell?.... or were u meant to wreak havoc in the world to teach others what not to do, and then u have access to go to Heaven because u did God's bidding of wreaking havoc..... God works in mysterious ways......if there is?... which i believe semi-half-heartedly.......
ok.... be urself....... am i being myself? or do i hide behind a mask?.... i'd like to believe i'm not hiding behind a mask, i just have a wide variety of expressions.... entiresting, very tis es............. we're all chameleons..... acting differently around certain peeps..... ends to a means or means to an end? ok.. that didn't make sense to me either.... ok..... i meant: we all act differently... maybe not the way we want to... it's like after the day is over it's like, u wanted to say this to someone or do something vvhatever it may be,... good or bad.... we should've acted this way, but didn't cuz..... u weren't thinking?............... damnz it all... kinda likea freaks-in-a-mythologies....
Nothing gold can stay........
inflammable means flammable? indefinately means ? inexperienced means? unexperience?.... eh? huh? wha? what is it good for, absolutely nothing, sing it again now
i should work out...
u may not be superman: powers given, or batman: one who took a vow after one "fateful" event,
Flash?- one who asked to save his love?, or his nephew, who accidentally? was given the powers..... GL(Green Lantern)? - he didn't choose to be, the ring chose his master.... one who is good at heart... doesn't matter what he can do whether it is being a photographer or an artist, he is just good.....
not Wonder Woman, she's a semi-goddess.... Aquaman, heck.. .he's a king... not him......
what am i going at? u think about it... i'm not going anywhere... as in... i don't have a point...... what u think about urself when reading this is what's up... .....conPusing? then don't think about it....


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 12:59 AM [+] ::
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