:: Dnubirom .....reverof dna dne eht tilnu won ::

:: Wednesday, August 27, 2003 ::

some of uuus say i don't express my feelings much so here goes... yeah i'm lonely... yeah, i just got back inside from looking at the red planet... i think i saw it... it twas purty bright and stuff like that... vvell, it just reminded me of a post awhile back in november i believe... yeah, novemeber... with the meteor shower and all... saying if i had (*closes eyes, sits back in chair) a GF i would go outside with her and just watch the sky... ok... vent freakin' right ... well f--- u... okokokok sorry... :-/

i remember back in the day... more like a couple months ago to a year when on every person on my BL would either have the date of when they and their significant other got together, or how low and behold and lowly their lonely and want to be with someone... i got annoyed at those who weren't with people... it's like get over it... enjoy single life... but yeah, it takes its toll on me... i don't wanna be alone like that... it's hard... eats from the inside... damn u people that know... vvell... yeah it's like maybe ua'll should know but not... just not through me... haha... no wait... time will take care of it... it'll fade... hopefully i'll forget, but i don't want to forget... uknow the the last time i truely cride cuz i got hurt was years ago... that was the day when i vowed not to cry anymore... and it works, and still works suprisingly vvell to this day... i've never cried... the only way i'll cry is if it were meaningful... vvelps... corny shiznets and all... but i wish i could just sob right now... but i guess it's not that meaning ful to cry over... i want to sob so much where i'll get that tingly feeiling in my nose and get mucus, and i'd gasp for air... i wanna give an honest back breaking hug... freaks-in-a-mythologies, yos and yoettes... it's gotta be the space thing, cuz yeah... i look up at the sky and see... space... literally, space, not symbolic speaking... haha... but yeah... thas aboot it... i guess... vvell i myself am a hypocrite... i admit... i just don't do anything aboot it... so many things in my past that just get me in the present... there's no one to blame but me... and yeah, i'm a loner too, and i don't expect people to help... honest!!! they have there own set of burdens, y burden them with mine... but honestly, i'd like them to burden me of their probs cuz then... (maybe it is to forget about my stuff), but i wanna help them... maybe i dont' really help them, maybe i just give them more problems cuz i make them think... vvhatever i'm inhuman... i'm always right to an extent... freak this shItzer yos and yoettes... it is hard... but who am i to say anything if i myself isn't tainted by the same exact situation as u... vvell, i do think of every POV and put myself in their shoes... and u know what i realized? someone has to give up... must give up... if everyone stuck to their beliefs, welps those beliefs r the ones conflicting with the other... at least one has to give in... be modest or sound modest or vvhatever the crap u wanna describe how u do it... just do it... wait... yeah, someone has to give in... i'm doing u all a favor... i just broke myself... a lil wahwahwah... vvell, yeah, superheros have their weakspots... they're not all powerful... they're just the balance to the superevil... that's all.. without one, the other wouldn't be needed... sux a bunch... yes, i'm ... ummm... hmmmm... *rubs eyes (not scratches eyes)... :-`... thinking... crap what was i goin' to type??? *scratches head... yes it'll be a big shabbang with what i have up in here (referring to my thoughts)... ummm but wait what was i goni' to say... maybe it's fate to make me forget wahwahwah... ummmmmmmm *yawn..... 'scuse'muah... o yeah... no wait... ok just continuing with the thought... i'm alone, and i don't wanna be alone, but savor the singlehood? but y do so... the person ur with would or should give u adequate amount of space and not feel stifled... so yeah... there's ur singlehood in that relationship (i remember what i was goin' to say!!!) okokokok crap seriously, y didn't i type it when i had it in my mind... i forgot again... ahh vvhatever... it just built and built... and it's hard to take... all but very few of u know i'm breaking... u'know??? who am i to call or IM out of no where and just says vvhatevers on my mind... crazy shiznets ya'know??? i'm breaking myself... or maybe u all r... cuz i agree with what u say about me... i really do... no BS, no smart alec... (that how u spell it?)... anywhoo... ummmm freak this... know this... or not... neBermind... i won't say that :-/ wahwahwah... ummm yeah, gotta change my Puture right??? vvell, this here post was SARS... yeah, not to criticize cuz they're all good... compliments, and suggestions and support they're all good, i do appreciate it, but is it really solving my problem? it starts with me, so instigate me... make me do something... or not... u can't do it... ha... reverse psychology or not???


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 5:12 AM [+] ::
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