:: Dnubirom .....reverof dna dne eht tilnu won ::

:: Sunday, November 30, 2003 ::

dang, i was hopin' i'd get Parts 3-? before the month is over... oh vvell... yeah, was thinkin' of random thoughts, now choosing to think of girls that stick to my mind whom i've never or rarely have talked to:
- girl who used to work at Chik-a-file (looked like dead-end-job-Rachel Leigh Cook)
- girl at mass (in Confirmation, but different group; she grew her hair longer!!! entiresting, very)
- Zavanna's cousin... ( no comment ) (it's stupid, that's y it's no comment)... ( i don't... ahh! vvhatever) (nice skirt)
- girl at auditioning studio (is there a pattern? somethin' aboot the eyes... possible syndrome related to first crush?) *rubs chin, rubs chin indeed...
- that one guy'z lil sister... (*shrug) :-P... :-/ *places right index finger across mouth virtually horizonal and thumb sticks out resting on the left cheek... middle finger underneath chin, then the other two one after the other,... ... OMGoodness... how old is she??..?. ... *thunkin'... she's probably 6,7,8th grade... AHHH vvhatever... they all grow up and mature anyway... ahahha what am i talkin' aboot... i'm supposed to list them, not elaborate... y am i typing here... WTH?... hmmm... i can't even write with writing material anymore... i usually write cursive... and i can't even read it anymore... :-`... doesn't that just sux a bunch... *scratches back of neck... *rubs/scratch between lip and nose
i'm bleeding a lot recently... through my left nostril and not in my right pinky toenail... ^_^ ... heheheh...ok ummmm *yawnn... so like... the past summer i've been sleeping even before 11:30 PM... now, it's winter, and i can't sleep till well past 3 o'clock... vveird, very... entiresting, very *yawnnn.....
-ummmm ... yeah... that one guy'z lil sister shouldn't be on the list... only the other 4... o wiat... how aboot... ummm... lemme think... eh, can't remember... but since i'm not sleepin'... let's document my sightings and thoughts aboot each one... talk aboot 'not' prejudgin' someone... *shrug...
o k... the Chik girl... she was a cashier when i talked to her... and then... i got a combo... and she asked what drink i wanted, but i said, 'yeah'... and then she stared at me... and i'm like... 'o, yeah, a coke'... haha... saw her like 2 more times with months in between since then... and then... she looked unhappy with outside her job... but yeah
(soo like... these r the ones that stand out the most... i'm not just focusing on them ONLY,,, ok???... if i don't do it to one, i do it to none... some more than others...)
-ummmm... the girl at church... or mass... usually see her at the sunday 12 o'clock mass... now that 12 is gone, it's now 10:30, but i've been goin' sat. afternoons now... so anyway, she only goes if her dad goes... if that's her dad... and if the mom, or GF, or stepmom of the dad goes with them, she tries noticeably hard to avoid lookin', talkin', and sitting next to her... spoke to her once after a confirmation meeting, just makin' conversation... with Tyler... found out they see each other, but rn't close at the same school they went to,... Poly... *fart... 'scuse'muah... not fart to Poly... i just farted.. heheh. sooo she doesn't smile nor laugh... and even if the priest jokes and it's actually funny and i listend... she's either not listening, or is deeply in thought of somethin'... or just daydreaming... (hm,... i purposefully looked like a bum at church yesterday,... jsut keepin' my head down with my hair over my eyes... maybe cuz i felt grungy... feelin' dirty... cuz like... i haven't showered... :-P... yum... yeah, been showering every 2 dayz the past week... but how is she outside of church, ya'know?... ghetto?... (what defines ghetto, honestly... really... "oh that's ghetto"... fu-- man, what's the definition of these slang words... vvhatever)...(really, u say ghetto, but does everybody have the same idear of it... no, it's more like where u live... and i don't live in one place... i'm happy... or content (that's the word i've been readin' a lot lately)... i'm content of being a filipino in a white-washed (turning 'ghetto' or not) neighborhood... east side long beach to be broad... having friends in very different areas and groups... knowing almost everyone takes their sides, and the some who have good points to why they choose their sides... in other words, i like me cuz i get the viewpoints of all,... ('nuff said?)... anyway... is she smart?... what kind of friends?... is she talkative... (spelled correct?) talkitive.... ahh vvhatever... ahh... i'm freaked when goin' back to school... ummm or is she quiet... what's her story...?or yeah... ok...ummmm yeah, she grew out her hair last i saw her... ummm...
- Zavanna's cousin... haha... seeing her at Zell's b-day party at her house September? '00... yeah, zell went to St. Anthony HS... (then to Cabrillo?, now back at SAHS?)... i still remember where she lives, not exactly... but haha i had trouble findin' her house, then my sister takes the phone and bluntly asks "Hello? yeah, where do u live???"... anyway ... i get there... lookin' at somethin', sitting down in front of the house... and being bombarded with water balloons from peeps i don't even know... i didn't know anybody but Zell... :-/ ... es kewl... i made my presence...ummm one tolchocked me real good in the head/chin... vvhatever... ummm her BF at the time was a guy who went to school at St. Anthony Elementary... told me... Noel, u reading?... 2 things come to mind... how he knew he was on ur "hit list"... and ... ummm at the school dance... a girl was sitting on ur lap... then got up... then the guy just kiddingly (OMG, i am not a articulate writer) sat on ur lap and felt that u had a boner... *Shrug,... just reiterating what he told me and what i remember out of it... but yeah... when zelle's cousin came out of her car... the first thing i noticed was her... pleather? skirt... i don't... not too short of a skirt, but tight enough that her out line of her legs stretch the pants when walkin'... but yeah... it was... nice. equal's nine. no nono.. not delicious... just like... ... umm haha 8-) ... haha... eyepopping?... eh,... just an eyecatcher... ... ... ummm... didn't really chill with her, she chilled inside, and i chilled outside... then it got darker... zell's friend's left except... this one white? guy... maybe partial mexican, or maybe he is... always had a smile... fun guy... could imagine him gettin' annoying sometimes, but alls kewl... zell's bf? i think he was still there... her cousin, (o yeah!!! her two lil cousins... they were afraid of me... but i talked to them on the phone, and they called me "Captain Kuya BATMA17 sir"... ok vvhatever) ummm one time in the night... fireworks started banging and everybody got scared thinkin' it's gunshots... and i knew it wasn't gun shots... but the first sound did scare me... ... just a lil :-P... okokok... so ran to the backyard... chilled inside... sang kareoke... very bad Nandito Ako singing,... yes, by me... and they were singing... ummm 'girls keep ur man at home? this club is bumpin' bumpion' biashdfpainhsdfk ablha blah ablha" yeah, they sang it, and haha, man this is messed up, but i didn't like to hear that song ever again... and there's a time outside...i think the BF was gone by this time... and it was only us 4 outside... the girls would swing their arms as if holding a lasso and throw it to catch me, then they would reel close to me... that was kewl... heheh... i'm just being me... and then the white guy was smiling too, but like wonderin' if he'd get lassoed too... but no, he didn't... and that guy,... i dotn' remember if he actually told me, or i just saw it in him... but he liked zell's cousin too... sayin' i like her and stuff... haha, i thought there's more, but that pretty much sums it up... oh goin' upstairs... i went into zell's room and while leavin' i accidentally knocked down her CD case... but she said it's ok, and just put me out of the room, while her and her cousin girl-talked and did vvhatevers ... o... yeah... best for last... i dont' know exactly how it happened,... it was nice... y'aknow?... i can't remember who sat on the car hood first, but me and the cousin sat on the car hood outside... and zell, her BF, and the white guy just goofin' around chillin' standin' in front of us... a small group circle ya'know? just chattin'... but we were sitting next to each other, she was on my right... and either she scooted closer to me... or (i don't know y i'm sayin' this... spur of the moment since i'm like vvhatever and can't sleep so yeah, flash back of me, eh? good for u reader) or i put my arms back just to lay against it... either way... heheh ... (this is so corny, dont' ruin it for me, reader, i like the thoughts... "i save my happy thoughts and use it accordingly") well, i put my arms back and she scooted closer and put my arms foward a bit and then she laid back , not using her whole wait against it, but a nice a touch... and none of us moved... shoooooot, i'm fine, she's fine... (cuz it's the lil things if u didn't know... LITTLE THINGs... DAMMIT, if u dont' know what i'm talkin' aboot, u dont' think that much do u... or not... SHUT UP, ME...) so yeah, that's kewl... that was kewl, cuz zell saw this and said "hey, what's goin' on here and then i just shrugged :-j ... and i forgot how it ended, but it's good, can't remember how got of the car hood first.... anyway... i left when my sister picked me up and i said thanx even though i've met everyone once for the first AND LAST that night... (even zell... i've met her twice or three times in person... and her BF only twice)... the first time i met her was at Milikan and then we went to McDs... oh sh-- reminds me of her friend there... and that other girl at knotts... Elena Santos's friends... (Elena Santos sounds familiar? well she went to SJHS... but didn't graduate :-(... hope she's well) yeah... dang, crazy shiznets... but yeah... ummm i remember zell telling me later... that zell (hmmm, what order should i put it, me first, or white guy first; does it matter? possibly maybe; maybe possibly)... zell said that her cousin said that i'm kewl... can't remember the exact words nor can i say it in broader terms... i can just say in generally, it was a pleasureable comment... was it meant to be pleasureable? or was it meant to be a neutral friendly compliment,... y do these things get to my head?... and then she said (i don't remember whether i asked or not) that the white guy was annonying... heheheh... maybe she just hung out with me just to avoid annoying guyz... that's not uncommon with me... girls rather goin' with me than other annoying guyz... but the thing is, once they find the cute guy they like, or would like to be cutest petutsy with, they'd go with them... eh, not a big problem right?... i least i kept them company... and again, y do these things come to mind?... so yeah... wouldn't that be sad if that meet that girl later in life again... is it sad that i still remember it... well she is remembered... but yeah... another thing comes to mind... we want what we want... but we also want it from someone we want... reread it over and over again... i don't wanna cut ur coccoon people... and what i mean by that is this... haha...: there's a coccoon... and a friendly chap comes by and watches it, fascinated... how often do u see a coccoon open into a butterfly in person? (holy crap, it's 5:25 AM ... mi madre hates it when she finds me awake still ... anyhoo) the guy watches its progress but then it stops half way... thinkin' that the butterfly is stuck... so he cuts open a bigger openning so that the butterfly can fly and live flyingly away... soo yeah flutters and.. stuff. but instead... the butterfly slides out and with brittle and crumpled wings drops to the ground and slowly picks itself up... well gets up and crawls away... turns out... while getting out of the coccoon, fluids of such r still being developed in the wings... so that when the wings r strong enough... it can break through the coccoon on its own... but alas, it didn't happen... and the butterfly crawled around with withered wings, never being able to fly... should i tell u A moral of the story?... ok... God gives personal obstacles so only u can grow and into a stronger being... can't ... or yeah... that's it... so yeah ... reread or not... my back hurts... nowadayz... how saddend... and i'm not sleepy but i'm screwed if mi madre finds me awake still... (and those that dont' like butterflies... do u feel sorry that it has to live like that FOREVER??/... or for the rest of its life... i read somwhere that some butterflies only live for 2 dayz? that true?... naturally not cuz of being splattered or ... DdddDEATH by unnatural (or natural) causes...)


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 5:31 AM [+] ::
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