:: Dnubirom .....reverof dna dne eht tilnu won ::

:: Saturday, February 28, 2004 ::

hmmm... let's do a review of today thus far...
watched Power Rangers: Dino Thunder... Tommy is back... and then got kidnapped
went to the bank... my streak with this one teller guy is over, and he doesn't even ask for my ID... but the lady i had today asked for it and it took longer than it needed to be...
took a nap... went to see my lil cousin's play near Malibu... or Santa Monica... 3rd street Prominade placeish... she's 'special' cuz she got the voice, the only asian that is lightskinned (besides that indian girl (not native american)), and she was suggested to audition by her singing teacher (the chinese? actress from The Art of War (with Wesley Snipes) and The Transporter (with that British? kewl actor guy)) and is the only one that lives in a nonrich area such as Long Beach (cuz everyone else lives in the Malibu/Santa Monica/ Pacific Palisades area) and she's one of the main characters... the play was Charlotte's Web, and she's Charlotte (note: if... nevermind)
soooo... we all went to eat before the play...
my tito, tita...
their two kids, my cousins: the athletic star from St. Cyprian and 'Charlotte' herself
my mom and dad
my eldest sister and her bf
my other sister and her bf
and me and... o wait.. haha. that's it...
so the play was kewl... small theatre...
Clint Eastwood was there (the Director nominee for Mystic River tomorrow) he wasn't accepting autographs so it's a good thing i didn't go up to him... i saw/heard my tita and this gay fella go up to him to ask but i they didn't receive it... it's all good... he's a human being as anyone else... then i thought about if it was some big star like Justin Timberlake and how reactions towards him would be... or some big actress/singer and how guys would gaga over them... vvhatever...
annie kept me company with text messages... but then i had to abruptly end it cuz the show was starting... blah blah blah... the girl next to me kept talking to her bf... STFU... anywhooo... blah blah blah and all that jazz...
on the drive home my dad was talking about how his single-friend/coworker vacationed to PI... there, he tried to find an old friend but couldn't remember where she lived nor her name... they kept in touch (pen pals) when he moved to the US... eventually, he found a number of her and called her up... he heard a baby in the background so then after the conversation he "stopped pursuing her"...
welps, i'm gonna be designated driver tonight i suppose... jk ... keep me company... call me up now... or not... dont' matter.. .blah blah blah and all that jazz... (i still haven't seen that movie)


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 10:01 PM [+] ::
...

i never really followed the 'no meat' thing... oh vvell :-/
*fart ... 'scusem'muah
i don't feel too bad about it anyway...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 12:03 AM [+] ::
...

i encourage everyone to force urself to do something good for urself and/or for others for every day in Lent (whether u r a believer or not) ... and blog/xanga/journal in about EACH day's events... if u question: "well, i don't know if i should or not..." MY answer is: "AHH HELL Y NOT???" and just do it!!!
even if u do at least an hour worth of Homework for a change, that is an accomplishment... if u decided to not say "f--- it" and u did something good, THAT is an accomplishment... If it's ANYTING ur proud of doing (or not doing) AND it's a positive feeling u gain, THAT is an ACCOMPLISHMENT... (i feel like a self-help guru guy u see on TV... what's that guy's name??? TONY ROBINS (he's in Shallow Hal... actual person)
if u want change in life, Y NOT start now???... only u know what bothers u about urself...
POST ABOUT IT and share it with the world
*giddy school-girl face with arms spread out spinning in circles while looking up...

if u feel at all like "WTF?" with this post... welps, just think positive... yeah, there's negative stuff everywhere, but block it out... it's only hindering you...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 10:40 PM [+] ::
...

Ken Watanabe!!! he's RA's AL GHUL!!!
Katsumoto is BATMAN's ENEMY!!!

auuudamn.... kewl!!! that's kewl... i guess... but sux... cuz i don't wanna know!!!... i wanna be suprised when the movie comes out... in more than a YEAR!!! !!! BLAH!!!... but dang... crazy shiznets... this movie best be good cuz all these high profile actors r in it... and the actors may amaze the audience, but the story and directing/editting will touch the hearts of the BatFans...
i'm goin' to stop posting stuff about the BATMAN movie... things r being changed a lot which is expected and i don't wanna update all the time... just go to http://upcomingmovies.com for info...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 8:50 AM [+] ::
...

u know whaaaaaat??? i don't think i'm sick the past few days... i think it's just allergies... i don't have a fever nor a sore throat... just phlegm and snot... i haven't had any allergies since this time sophomore year... i guess it's been such a long time that i didn't know whether i'm sick or just allergic...
dang stuffy nose... curses!!!
DIABOLICAL SCHEME!!! *clenches fist in air...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 12:47 PM [+] ::
...

'Deeply Disturbed' PLEASE VOTE!!!


What Type of Lunatic are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hahahaha


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 12:07 AM [+] ::
...

yeah, i'm sick... so what???
gah... i dont' wanna read about it, but i have nothing to do... i can't sleep either...
i don't wanna read about the upcoming movie of BATMAN. I want to be suprised... but oh vvell... this is what i've learned thus far:

title:
BATMAN: INTIMIDATION
cast (movies i've seen them in / i've heard of them in) - Character:
Christian Bale (Newsies, American Psycho, Reign of Fire, Equilibrium, Swing Kids, Pochahontas, Little Women, Mary: Mother of Jesus(TV)) - Bruce Wayne/BATMAN
Michael Caine (Jaws 4: the Revenge, Austin Powers in Goldmember, Miss Congeniality / The Cider House Rules, Get Carter, Secondhand Lions)-Alfred
Morgan Freeman? (SE7EN, Along Came a Spider (sequal to Kiss the Girls)~i learned the word HOODWINK from him in this movie and made that the title of my first movie...~, Bruce Almighty, Glory, Lean on Me ~he called himself 'batman'...haha~, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, The Shawshank Redemption, Outbreak, Kiss the Girls, Deep, Impact, The Sum of All Fears / Amistad, Driving Miss Daisy) -Luscius Fox
Katie Holmes(Dawson's Creek(TV show), Phone Booth, Go, Disturbing Behavior / Abandon, Teaching Mrs. Tingle) - Rachel Dodson
Cillian Murphy(28 Days Later / Cold Mountain) - Dr. Jonathon Crane
Liam Neeson(Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Darkman, The Haunting, Nell, Schindler's List, EXCALIBUR!!! ~ hahahaha / K-19: The Widowmaker, Les Miserables, Gangs of New York - Ra's Al Ghul -edit-2-21-04 6:48PM... it seems as if there was a mistake... Liam Neeson wouldn't play Ra's Al Ghul... he'd play Ducard, a mentor (not mentos haha) of Bruce Wayne... If Ra's will be in the movie, rumors r Viggo Mortensen (Aragron from LOTR: TFotR, TTT, and TRotK, Hidalgo, 28 Days, Psycho remake 1998, Portrait of a Lady, The Prophecy, G.I. Jane, Crimson Tide, Young Guns II, and Witness (amazing that i've seen most of these movies and not know him until LOTR movies)) would play Ra's Al Ghul...
from what i've read, they're looking for BIG NAME stars... i don't know... i would look for almost unknown stars... vvhatever...
director (seen it, not seen it):
Christopher Nolan (Insomnia / Memento)

yeah, BATMAN is BATMAN...
Alfred is caretaker of Bruce Wayne/BATMAN, the butler, or surrogate father...
Luscius Fox is Bruce Wayne's partner/associate/advisor/business friend at Wayne Enterprises. If Bruce wasn't there (actually, he never is), Luscious would call the shots (actually, he does)
Rachel Dodson is ... i do not freakin' know... i read that she's in BATMAN: YEAR TWO comic book... *shrug...
Dr. Jonathon Crane aka Scarecrow: A rejected scientist because his experiments of fear were unethical; lost his license... turned to the life of crime to seek revenge on those who fired him...
Ra's Al Ghul... a mortal with a loooong lifespan... u can call him immortal only because he frequently bathes in the Lazarus Pit... a healing/life giving pool... after being submerged, one would show a temporary unreasonable aggressiveness... Ra's Al Ghul means "The Demon's Head" in another language (i can't remember the name of it)... he has the want of destroying the world... or something like that... i don't know y he would want to... he just does... His Daughter, TALIA, is a pretty one indeed... Ra's wanted BATMAN to marry Talia so that when Ra's passes away, his daughter would be in protective hands... BATMAN refused, but Talia still has the hots for BATMAN, but doesn't want to be disloyal to her fashah... i mean haha... father... (later in the comics, she would be betrothed to BANE)

eeyup eeyup eeyup... vvhatever... i'm sick... o... did u know that Wolverine (part of the X-men team... ... movie actor: Hugh Jackman) and Elektra (DareDevil's love interest; assassin for hire... ... movie actress: Jennifer Garner) had (or will have) a fling or something and had (or will have) a daughter together???... kewl...

yeah, i'm sick >}-[

for movies' cast and crew: http://www.imdb.com
for possible future movies: http://upcomingmovies.com


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 1:54 PM [+] ::
...

HA!!! i sooo knew Clark was goin' to spill the paint over the Kryptonite...
awwwwrgh... Alicia is obsessive... it was too good to be true for the hero to have happiness... Don't worry, Clark. Chloe's cousin, Lois Lane, will marry u... (and then u do have a child with Wonder Woman...)


Wow!!! Adam has his own CASEBOOK (just like the GHOSTWRITER team!!!)... be careful, Adam knows the (tenent) laws... Lex's security can't find Adam... DUH!!! Adam is mysterious and stealthy like that. BUT WAIT!!!... dammit, Lional Luthor hiring Adam to spy on Lana and Clark?... DAMMIT... WTFreaks-in-a-mythologies... there's an answer to it... it has yet come to me... ADAM IS BATMAN.

There's a Harry Pooter... i always put POOTER... Y???... my O's r like annie's E's... okokok
there's a Harry Potter scarf on the clothing rack in the background of Alicia's house...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 9:01 PM [+] ::
...

Everybody needs somebody sometimes...

ugghhh... *grroooooooannnn

all u need is love.. .

i'm sick... internally physically...

i just need to rest... i need to be nurtured...

my psych teacher says people need to be touched... it's a necessity; it's a sensational feeling...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 11:52 AM [+] ::
...

if i were to change the world, then everybody's work to 'becoming what they wanna be when they grow up' (ex. their 9-5 jobs) would come to an end? or not... am i just another crazy man??? am i but a man :-P... okokokok vvhatever... is there a purpose... or r we just organisms from the ground trying to survive... ... just survive... it would be fun to think there is other beings... maybe ...

i think i'll die... well duuuhhhh HA!!!

o yeah, BALANCE is a possible key... it's a lil bit of everything


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 9:55 PM [+] ::
...

o k... back to what i was saying... Y LIVE??? what's the point of living if there's always bad stuff... evil... negativity... cuz u can't have the good without the bad??? sounds logical... God/religion a placebo?... it can BE!!!... sh-- as of now... let's just say the reason i'm not doing anything bad to myself is to see how long i can endure life... let's see how i'll die if i dont' do it to myself already... is there destiny?... fate? WTF??? y live?... o and not just that... uhhhhhhh

hmmm
u know what i feel like... wait.. . okokok... wait... okokok okokokk ummmm if i were to able to choose whether to be not able to think or to have all knowledge... i'd think it'd be logical to not be able to think cuz then u r ignorant and don't care... apathetic... but i'd STILL CHOOSE TO HAVE ALL KNOWLEDGE... and THAT INCLUDES THE PAIN... IT'S LIKE I'M ASKING FOR THE PAIN... I WANT IT ... I DOTN' KNOW Y... I JUST DO... Y DO I WANT IT??? U KNOW WHAT ELSE??? I FEEL LIKE I'M EITHER A GUY WHO WANTS TO DO GOOD BUT FOR SOME REASON CAN'T DO IT AND AT THE SAME TIME KNOWS THAT IT WON'T END EVEN AFTER I'M GONE... OR I'M JUST AN EVIL BIDING ITSELF INSIDE MY BODY READY TO BURST... SO DEAR READERS... IF U SEE ME IN THE NEWS IN THE FUTURE TALKING HOW I'M CRAZY... WELL, THE QUESTION "IF UR CRAZY, DO U KNOW UR CRAZY?" WILL BE ANSWERED... CUZ THE ANSWER IS YES... I KNOW I'M CRAZY... IF I'M GIVING A JUST EXAMPLE OF THE WORD CRAZY... Y DO I WANNA HELP PEOPLE?!?!?! F--- FREAK IT... U KNOW,

IN GENERAL, PEOPLE GET ANGERED BECAUSE THEY CAN'T GET WHAT THEY WANT... OR... THEY DON'T GET WHAT THEY WANT... THAT IS SO TRUE... AND THERE IS NO ANSWER TO IT... WELL IF THERE IS AN ANSWER... IT WOULD BE... IT JUST IS

SOLUTION: ABSOLUTE APATHY, OR IGNORANCE, OR SOMETHING

WHERE'S gOD? F---IN' SOCIOLOGY MAKNI' ME QUESTION IT, BUT IT IS PLAUSIBLE... THROUGHOUT TIME 'HIGHER BEINGS' R THINGS THAT HUMANS CAN'T CONTROL... OR MAYBE THER E IS???... TOO MANY QUESTIONS, THERE'S JUST TOO MANY QUESTIONS... U JUST GOTTA HAVE... FAITH??? WHAT ELSE WHAT ELSE...WHATELSE... IS THERE NO ANSWER TO WHY?...
WHOA, DUDE, THE FUTURE... WE DIDN'T HAVE CELL PHONES, NOW WE DO... NOT EVERY CAR HAS A TV, NOW IT'S BECOMING... JUST GO WITH THE FLOW??? I GUESS...

U KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD... I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DIE ANONYMOUS... OR LEAVE THIS WORLD WITH PEOPLE CONFUSED... BUT AT THE SAME TIME... I WANNA DIE A TRAGIC DEATH... BUT WITH MEANING... I'VE ALWAYS WANTED 'GOOD' MEANING... BUT WHAT DEFINES A GOOD INTENT... HECK.. MAYBE U'LL SEE ME BLOW UP SOMETHING AND KILL ... AND WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS gOD'S WAY WOULD BE QUESTION ABLE... MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THERE IS A DEEPER MEANING... MAYBE I DID IT CUZ IT HAD TO... OR MAYBE I DID IT CUZ I'M JUST BORED... OR ANGRY... Y CAN'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND.. . Y CAN'T I UNDERSTAND... MAYBE WE ARE APART OF THE GROUND... OR MAYBE IN A COMPUTER... OR A VIDEO GAME... OR WE DID EVOLVE... WTF... MAYBE I'LL JUST RAMBLE TODAY, AND NOT CARE WHAT I SAY TOMORROW... THE FUTURE IS UNKNOWN PEOPLE...
FUNNY, I THOUGHT I'D END on an angry note... but i got my answer right here:
the future is unknown; deal with it accordingly

calm down now... y now???... vvhatever
is that the answer??? or maybe i should just stop questioning... or maybe i should ask more...
what do i do...
WHAT IF... i meet someone and they literally make me feel different and want to change my thoughts and feelings and actions... WHAT IF IT DOES WORK OUT... BUT THEN AGAIN, WHAT IF IT DOESN'T...??? what would i do then... but wait... i have the answer right there...
the future is unknown; deal with it accordinlgy

but what is accordingly, what or whom or whatever do i go to if i need help... or more answers?...
faith?... if that's the type of person u r... but what if ur not... maybe i shouldn't worry abotu others... maybe i should more... i'm at a lost... i don't want to help the economy... i want to help ... [fill in the blank] ... y am i like this???...

those of u who know me... do i anger u... no, wait... u have ur reasons... ihave mine... should they mix together or not... communicate or what... no wait waitwait wait... i ave a feeling just saying this will get the wrong idea i'm tryin' to get out...
freak it... ihave HW to do... 2 weeks and a 4 day weekend and nothing done... how grand... it's not like i'll do it now... or maybe i will
i wish i knew... i wish i was nurtured... i don't feel adequate... but if i did, would i ask for more?... would i want milk with the cookie?... r we people who want more right after we receive what we first asked initially?... i wish...
into the future unknown; let's help each other... or not


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 9:49 PM [+] ::
...

If God was testing me if I believe in Him or not, i'd probably fail... i didn't give an answer whether i believe or not... rn't i supposed to say Yes, I believe with no questions asked... well, i am asking questions... on everything... I just watched Bowling for Columbine... People don't wanna act stupid or do the wrong thing on the camera cuz it's caught on one moment in time... that's the problem with cameras... one time on it defines the motive of everyone involved... but without it, word wouldn't spread... i don't know whether it's good or bad but Michael Moore angers those he questions... it's as if he's intentionally trying to make them blunder and prove them wrong... maybe, maybe not... btu there r no words in any language to explain ourselves... maybe there IS nothing that explains our actions... we should all just say I DON'T KNOW... or maybe Roger Moore isn't accepting the answers of those he interviews... maybe it doesn't sound justiable to him... but to those he questions, their answer r justifiable... of course, they're the ones saying it and think they think it... What we individually think is what WE individually say... yes it's influenced... so if we think we are influenced... if we don't, we don't... if we think another person is swayed to think a way... then WE think that other person is swayed to think that way...
Ignorance is Bliss:-( but i'm not ignorant... what is there to do... so much... sociology sux... it taught me that religion controls what we presume can't control... and other stuff... is there a Higher Being(s)? peeps shouldn't defend what they don't know... Charlton Heston tried, but got angry at the end...
Reason: There is NO answer to WHY
Solution: we don't know, we don't care
Problem: I know, I care = conflicts will never end...
y fight for something that will never end? it's virtually, nearly impossible for everyone to listen and to for them to care...
today,
u can't get someone's attention by tapping their shoulder, u have to hit them with a sledge hammer... or something like that...
continue this later...
i'm goin' to think more...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 7:52 PM [+] ::
...

am i me when i'm alone, or when i'm with others? y do people have to come and go?... f--- i know the answer, stupid... i want... i wish someone would want me, but i have to change me first... y do i feel the need to change me? things change...
i dislike it when i'm angry, i never get any homework done (although it doesn't really matter:-/)


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 12:25 AM [+] ::
...

damn, dang, damn... WTFreaks-in-a-mythologies... was i blinding myself?.. or no, was i distracting myself so i can concentrate harder? so i can be more focused... or maybe it's time to face it again?... or not...??? it boggles the mind >:[


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 11:47 PM [+] ::
...

You're J'onn J'onzz!
You tend to be quiet and keep to yourself and hide
your feelings. You don't like crowds and
usually stick by your friends. You do find
people to be hypocritical, but it seems to
fascinate you as well. There aren't many people
like you, so you find yourself typically an
outcast.


Which one of the Justice League (cartoon) are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 11:41 PM [+] ::
...

dang, just read the blogs a year ago from today... read the day before and after that day too if u want... i'm just making excuses... but it's who i am... i like it... dang, i can't believe i'm forcing myself that i'm just making excuses... it's ... :-(... i'm not sad, but more like... forcing myself to feel sad... but i feel fine now, but dang it, i'm forcing myself to feel bad... how vveird...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 11:15 PM [+] ::
...

am i avoiding something i should take a look at?... is it a priority problem?... actually, lately, it's been better when i don't think about it... and now that i'm thinking about it, it doesn't make me feel worse, but it's questioning me if i should continue to not make this problem a priority... welps, i'm into 'signs' and signals ... for ex. Fortune Cookies... suddenly having a talk with someone and without them knowing, they'd answer my dilemma... well, i just read another sign... i relate to it... it is more like a past problem... but never resolved... it's more a of an x-file... a cold case... an unsolved mystery :-P... ... alright, alright, i admit... i don't like change either... but isn't it kewl to be the lonely, bad ass, hero guy who hides a lot of secrets?... yes... but this isn't entertainment... the audience knows who the lonely, secretive guy is while the characters around him r oblivious to it... although (have i written a similar blog about this?)... although in reality, the only audience would be myself... cuz i know i'm mysterious and i'm entertaining myself, but i'm still the one hurting... but still, i've dealt with it... but still, i'm not getting younger... i like me, but i like other things too... but i ... it's like... that Seinfeld episode where George doesn't want his Girlfriend to be apart of his friends group... something like that... Independent George shouldn't mix in with Dating George??? i forgot... but if one mixes in with the other lifestyle, the other will die... hmmm i dont' want myself to change, yet i want something to... *clenches fist... DIABLOLICAL SCHEME!!!... or maybe... i'm in the process of changing... the past month ever since i've been feeling better... others' lifestyles have been changing noticeably... honestly, i thought everyone moved on, or in the process of, and i was the last one, but it's apparent that it is not so... we all miss high school for the similar, if not the same, reasons... unless ur the fortunate one to have more than one group of friends... *{rubs chin... but that's not the only thing,... i'm not trying to be specific, i'm trying to be general... i like me, and it's fun, it's a ... game?... but yeah... hm, thingx r jinxed when i say it... or not... wwait wait wait... time and again, i remind u thati'm the only boy in the whole extended family to bring down the family name... i have a feeling it'll end with me, unless i change... but if i cahnge, then things will be diferent, which is good and bad... dammit!!! can't have the gosh dang good with out the freakin' fraggin' bad... but it's not bothering me as much as before... but i did say the past month, or more like few weeks, things have been changing with me... or i'm attempting to, and so far so good, ... i hope i didn't jinx myself then... it's all in the mindset... blah blah blah... o ko ko kokookokokok... back to the beginning... i'm not necessarily avoiding the situation, cuz it doesn't seem more like a problem... i't smore of a "'it's not making me feel bad so y give my attention to it'", but it is making me think to reopen and face it... or am i still preparing myself, biding my time for the bigger event to come... we shall see, we shall see... the future is now... we will be something something... i forgot haha... (<-it's from an X-men episode)... hm... sometimes, u dont' notice the process of change lest u think of the past and how ur stAtus is today... o, what the things that make us be... so what's being set up/happening today, that will be executed tomorrow?...??


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 11:05 PM [+] ::
...

wow, that's so kewl...






find your element
at mutedfaith.com.




c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 9:39 PM [+] ::
...

Smallville time:
"karate, orchestra, computer leader at school"... hell freaks yeah... his alias name... Chad Nash... it's a pseudonym... wanna keep identity secret(billionaire heir missing)... his eyes turning red scared me(that's unhuman-like)... but broken capillary is good enough for me... so much anger; yay!... Adam has anger... i like it... i just hope he doesn't turn, literally, into a monster or inhuman... and did u see that, did u see that??? HUH HUH HU HUH??? first u can see his scars, battle wounds?,... first they were there, now they're gone... i could beliee dat, i could beliee dat... remember... "Pain heals, Chicks dig scars, Glory lasts forever" ~Keanu Reeves as Falco in the replacements... so much pain and suffering ... anyway, i think pete will die or leave the show soon cuz he said he'd promise to keep Clark's secret till the "day I die"... and and and... how much (money?) would it take to have a research scientist (Dr. Tang?) to go out of her way to and risk her job ethics just to experiment on a 17 yr. guy... wahwahwah...

o, and I'd like to have the song "Here's to the Night" by Eve 6 to play at my funeral... if i die... or if i have a funeral... or not...

did Clark do the hero walk again? hm, debatable... judge says YES... I believe that was the hero walk...

and NO, i did not watch the preview for then next episode annie ... so DON'T TELL ME...
i never watch the preview for next week...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 9:03 PM [+] ::
...

What Famous Leader Are You?

The dying tragically part is vereally vereally true... :-D


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 10:14 PM [+] ::
...

there was a day when all the seniors gathered in the Bosco auditorium and we listened to the teachers' persepectives and advice and encouragement on going to college... Mr. K said, "don't be a follower, be a leader..." and i was thinking... and i'm serious... pfff, i have nothing to lead for, i'd rather be a follower, an advisor, than be a leader... yeah, u have to responsible and all... but at the same time, if something goes wrong, the leader is blamed... righteously so... and i tip my hat to those leaders who can take the punch... and i'll be the little rock, one of many, making the pebble on top of the sand pile stay on the top... there's no need for me to be a leader... i'm fine with being a follower
today, i'd still be a follower, but there's no leader to follow... so screw that jazz... i'm makin' my own tune... gotta take my own shiznets... i've said it before, and it never lasted long... time to try again...

BE A MIRACLE
O:-)


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 4:54 PM [+] ::
...

devote only one hour a day on ur HW per subject... who cares if u don't finish it...
try it!!!


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 10:44 PM [+] ::
...

well, i prayed to God and I got my answer... i've always known it, my mom just confirmed it...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 8:36 AM [+] ::
...

to leave those left behind behind, set an example and hope they follow... or
hinder myself, help them and hope they learn ASAP/as long as it takes...

what to do, what to do...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 8:43 PM [+] ::
...

eh, quick review of the dream... i was at the UCI dorm rooms, but it was a BOSCO 3rd floor classroom... sitting in the front was my old school friend Kelly Dondero, and i decided to go up to her and tell her about Friday the 13th... and then on of the RA's, whom is a white female was taking role... or a survey or something to talk to each individual person... i got kinda scared cuz i was thinkin' i wasn't supposed to be there cuz i'm not a UCI student... she was coming closer to me and i just bolted out of the class/dorm room... she chased me down saying... "wait! come here!"... i was thinkin ' screw that , i'm out '... so i jump down the steps of the UCI dorm stairways and head towards the front door, but i fake out and pretend i go through there and i turn the other way and go out the Emergency Exit (the exit Edward and I entered last time)... well, i lost the lady... and then the courtyard was like Poly High School... and i knew they were searching for me... including the security guards... i bump into Carlos Perez and he helps me out and we sneat into his dorm room through the bushes and into the window... it was like Zelda Ocarina of Time where i have to hide from the guards behind bushes and run past them, but in first person view... so we talk about saying non UCI students shouldn't be there at all... and i got freaked out even more... they were searching for me and i could get prosecuted... and then... Carlos said his dad worked there and said he could valet my car close enough to the building so i can get in and drive out... so then we sneak back out and it's raining... on the street... people r playing by running across side to side, trying not to get hit by cars and tidal waves... my parents where there too and that's were i started to cry... i was afraid they were goin' to get washed away or get hit by car, but they were having fun... a car almost hit them, a wave almost washed them away... and then... the idea was i was trying to figure out to cross the street and get to my car... but then my parents were having fun dodging the waves and cars and i still kept crying... but i didn't wake up there... then... i got across the street and into the bookstore building... just outside the buillding is the parking structure at UCI where me and icky sometimes park... but the inside it was a small, crowded, books and other stuff... like those feather necklaces or other hanging products u find on carts or other stores at the BLOCK... blah vvhatever... i see Karen there... but it's not Karen... it's Mary Ann... and she... or both of them were disappointed in me that i ran out of the UCI dorm/BOSCO building... and i said... mah bad...sorry... and they just stared down looking at the products of vvhatever... and then i head towards the doors and then i woke up... no tears... just thinking about y i was crying... and i know i was sleeping only an hour cuz i kept hitting the snooze button and then i turned it off at 7AM and changed the alarm to 8AM... :-/ crazy shiznets... that's all...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 8:41 AM [+] ::
...

quickly review over tonight's Smallville:

Smallville people r too goody goody... eeyuck...
Adam is BATMAN because:
in tonight's episode... he's been having nightmares, doesn't wanna talk about it... the setting was in a dark room, shows his muscular body... Clark doesn't wanna know aboot Brucie[more suspense]... what does Chloe and Pete know?... the drugs? it's his only comfort for being a guy who doesn't wanna open up... parents wantED a grand piano... learns complex stuff himself... Straight A's "fine pupil, somethin' teach"... either really smart or really rich to pay off the teachers... "everyone has a 'black' past"-Lex... HIS EYEBROWS R SO BATMAN... wants Lana to trust him, yet he doesn't wanna open up... IT DIDN't SHOW THE DEATH of ADAM!!! after bumping into Jordan ... "no kickboxing, computer, or piano books... he's a real renaissance man"-Chloe (he's just self-determined, reliant, and learner is all)... his last name is KNIGHT... i don't know about the "clinical medical drugs" :-/... HECK NO, HE'S NOT FROM OKLAHOMA... YEAH!!! "HE WASN'T JUST HURT!!! HE DIED"-Jordan Cross... HE DIED THE DAY HIS PARENTS DIED!!!

Pete has no big role in Smallville, that's funny...
in the movie Superman with Christopher Reeve and Gene Hackman... Pa (Johnathon Kent) has a heartattack when Clark was in high school... it's possible but unlikely that Dukes of Hazzard guy will die... what's his actor's name? dammit i Porgot...

aaaaand... i guess that's it... ADAM IS BATMAN... if last week's episode didn't convince you... THIS EPISODE SHOULD CATCH U... especially the drugs(which i hope isn't the case, i'll be saddened to the max if that's what helps him), the "no notes, all knowledge", and not being able to see Adam's death from Jordan...

could Jordan be a reoccuring guest? probably die a grand death in a finale or somethin'... OR become a cast member replacing people or not???... and where's John Glover (Lional Luthor)... is he still in the beginning credits? cuz i don't watch those credits anymore...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 9:04 PM [+] ::
...

got bored so i'm doing this... well, i should be doing other stuff, but screw those...

[Currents]
[Current Clothes] ? my school uniform.. BATMAN sweater with jeans and the usual undergarments
[Current Mood] ? forcing myself to be bored so i don't have to do other 'important' stuff
[Current Music]- First Love by Utada Hikaru
[Current Taste]- Pizza Hut bread sticks w/ sauce and Pepsi
[Current Make-up] ? none
[Current Hair] ? shaved
[Current Bestfriend] ? i don't rank friends
[Current Gf/Bf] ? Not Applicable
[Current Annoyance] ? Common Complaints
[Current Smell ] - my mad gas after eating pizza hut
[Current thing I ought to be doing] - typing stuff for Tita "take advantage by asking 'do this/ do that'"'s hula class
[Current Favorite Artist] ? (various)
[Current Favorite Group] ? (various)
[Current Book you're reading] ? (none)
[Current CD in CD Player] ? Slipknot
[Current DVD in player] ? Lord of the Rings: Return of the King [bootleg] (i oppose those bad qualities; my sister watches it every night)
[Current Color Of Toenails] ? shades of pink and dirty white
[Current Refreshment]- sleep
[Current Worry] - others

Firsts...
First best friend...- Brian Fremgen, dang, back in the dayz... crazy shiznets...
First real girlfriend/boyfriend...- none
First real memory of something...- playing hide and seek... bumping my elbow... and holding the pain in by hiding behind the couch and puffing my cheeks
First car...- Mazda 6 [BATMA17mobile]
First date...- June 17, 1985 haha
First break-up...- *shrug
First job...- patrolling the neighborhood
First sn...- Spiderine [hybrid of Spiderman and Wolverine on pIRCH (similar to mIRC and vIRC?); for AIM it's BATMA17]
First self purchased album...- BATMAN & ROBIN movie soundtrack
First funeral...- Tatay Danny
First pets...- turtle or goldfish...
First piercing/tattoo...- those temporary tattoos
First credit card...- is my debit card the same thing? no. well then, no
First true love...- possibly pending
First enemy...- a real threat? the Jokester
First big trip...- Las Vegas or it can be Philippines...
First play/musical/performance...- uhhhhh School X-mas pageant? or somethin'

=Lasts=
=Last time you smoked= 2nd hand? can't remember...
=Last big car ride= driving only an hour to Vegas... [took turns driving]
=Last good cry= 7th grade... Jews/Nazis... i was a Jew... Filipino Jew... got Kevin Cape in trouble [mah bad, forced to blame someone]
=Last library book checked out= The Bridges of Toko-Ri... tight book for Korean War project.
=Last movie seen= in theaters? Cheaper by the Dozen, i think...
=Last beverage drank= Pepsi
=Last food consumed= Pizza Hut bread sticks with sauce
=Last crush= too many to name
=Last kiss= none
=Last moment= moment?
=Last phone call= Lorena
=Last tv show watched= I Love Lucy
=Last time showered= This morning
=Last shoes worn= Vans
=Last cd played= [various - it was playing You Don't See Me - Josie and the Pussycats]
=Last soda drank= Pepsi
=Last time wanting to die= i'm prepared when i'm prepared
=Last time scolded= *shrug
=Last shirt worn= Black shirt with BATMAN picture... or do u mean the white undershirt?
=Last website visited= http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=LYNETTExINC... or the blogger sign in site... or the lyrics site...

*h a v e y o u e v e r*
Fallen for a friend* - o k
Made out with JUST a friend* - no
Crushed on a friend never telling them* - o k
Rejected someone* - jokingly?
Been in love*- baby, don't hurt me.... no more
Been in lust* - grrrrr
Used someone*- does it justify the ends?
Been used*- yeah, God... duh
Cheated on someone*- God works...
Been cheated on*- ...in mysterious ways
Been kissed*- sure
Done something you regret*- gotta learn

Thought about...more than an hour
girls/boys:- yah
school:- yah
yourself:- yah
the day:- yah
your friends:- yah
sex:- yah
drama/problems:- yah
old/poor ppl:- yah
parents:-yes
music:- yah
boredom:- yah
candy:- yah

w h o w a s t h e l a s t p e r s o n
-You touched- Patrizha
-You talked to- Lorena (these questons repeat!!!)
-You hugged- can't remember
-You instant messaged- Karen
-You yelled at- Mom
-You laughed with- Patrizha
-Last person you had a crush on- too many to say
-Who broke your heart- People

/d o y o u/
/Color your hair/ no
/Have tattoos/ no

/Piercings?/ no
/Floss daily/ no
/Own a webcam/ no
/Ever get off the damn computer/ yes
/Sprechen sie deutsche/ no
/Habla espanol/ asi asi no

h a v e y o u // d o y o u // d o y o u h a v e
Considered a life of crime: yes
Considered being a hooker: nono
Considered being a pimp: no
Are you psycho:- yes
Split personalities:- possibly
Schizophrenic:- sure
Obsessive compulsive:- there r the few
Panic: there r it's times
Depressed:- there's a time for everything
Suicidal:- to set a point
Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore: daydream about it
What would you be doing: about?
What are you listening to: my mind asking how does this relate to the HAVE YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU HAVE title...
Can you do anything freakish with your body> my thumb?



[]a r e y o u[]
[]Understanding[] to myself
[]Open-minded[] yeah
[]Arrogant[] i can be
[]Insecure[] very contradicting
[]Interesting[] if ur interested
[]Independent[] in certain ways
[]A lil hungry[] eh...
[]Friendly[] sure
[]Smart[] philisophically... [cocky, rn't i... or not]
[]Moody[] PMS
[]Sexy[] *scratches head
[]Childish[] - it's fun, don't wanna grow up
[]Hard working[] ? depends
[]Organized[] ? sure
[]Emotionally Stable[] ? eh...
[]Shy[]- depends
[]Difficult[]- i suppose
[]Bored easily[]- no
[]Thirsty[]- no
[]Responsible[] depends
[]Happy[] for a time
[]Trustworthy[] i am
[]Unique[] sure
[]Lonely[] physically yes, when i'm online

[ a l l a b o u t m e ]
>Name:< BATMA17
>Nicknames< [too many to say]
>Hair color< BLACK
>Birthday< 061785
>Sex< type: penis
>City< Long Beach
>Eye color< Brown
>Siblings< 2 older sisters
>Righty or lefty< right
>What's your sign< Gemini's Twins
>Hobbies< [various]

[ o n d a t i n g ]
Long or short hair? don't matter
Funny or funny looking? don't matter
GQ or really cute? *whispering... what's GQ?
Dark or blond hair? leaning towards dark nowadays
Tall or short? don't matter
Body or face? don't matter
Booty or chest? don't matter
Pretty but dumb or okay looking but smart? O K and smart
What is your biggest turn on? enticing to the mind
What is your biggest turn off? static personality
Walks on the beach? that's sexy
Walks in the park? that's sexy
Amusement parks? if i gots the money
Movies? but of course...

[ o n p r e f e r e n c e s ]
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? don't matter
McDonalds or Burger King? Burger King sux everytime i go there now... so McDs
Cats or dogs? kittens and puppies
Ocean or Pool? pool
Cooler ranch or nacho cheesier? i suppose cheesy
Mud or Jell-O wrestling? *shrug
With or without ice cubes? With
Shine or Rain? Rain, then Shine
Winter/summer/fall/spring? Winter
Vanilla or Chocolate?Snowboarding or skiing? don't matter... snow is evil
Cake or cookies? Cookie Monster aRGARAGAERRAGGGGhhhhhh
Cereal or toast? Cereal or bread and butter doowey doo
Gloves or mittens? difference?
Eyes opened or closed? open
Fly or breathe under water? breathe underwater
Bunk-bed or waterbed? eh, bunk... eh, don't matter
Gum or hard candy? gum...

i'll blog aboot my dream later tonight if i still remember...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 12:42 PM [+] ::
...

life has got its ups and downs
maybe, just maybe, if i cared less, i'd feel more upper... haha... , but probably not...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 9:25 PM [+] ::
...