:: Dnubirom .....reverof dna dne eht tilnu won ::

:: Saturday, June 26, 2004 ::

and i still question if there is a God...
a Higher Being(s)...

tomorrow is just...
another day

:: j 3:14 AM [+] ::
...

so yeah, i'm going to blog now...
been up and down the past week or so...
let's see, always wanted to spend time alone on my birthday, being the "kewl" loner type, but my mom kept saying that's bad luck... AND i wanted to release all these videos in my possession but i dont' have my camera to put the final touches... so then so then... my sister's boyfriend's sister's birthday also, dang, i wanted to go, but my sis was very persistent in not letting me go, and i thought about it... vvhatever the freak ever... Full Spectrum Warrior is kewl... short game, i'm almost finished with that... i went to the various malls with my sis's bf's sis for her birthday... at Nordstroms in Cerritos Mall, i sat on a bench, and took off my shoes and sat indian style... just stretchin' out and all that... then, and old man comes up to me... Barely audible and clear, "can i sit there?" and i say sure sure and i scoot over... he tries to make conversation with me, but i seriously could NOT understand him... so i just say my ohhhs and uhhuh things when i dont' know what the other is saying, ya'know?... didn't want to badger him in repeating himself, he might feel bad, ya'know?... i think he was talking about the men's department and women's department... then he became silent, and i thought he thought that i didn't wanna talk, but i was thinkin' "no, i'll have a convo with him... he's old... old people get neglected, and it's a gosh damn unfortunate truth." so then i look at his finger, he has a ring... i ask, who r u with?... he replies... "o, my wife..." continues talking about he bought shoes and she's looking around for make-up and perfume... and i'm thinkin' "that's nice" and he asks, "r u married?" and i smile and say,... "nah nah, i'm just 19"... and then he reassures me... "bah, u have a lot of time"... and everytime someone talks about relationships, i get mix feelings ... [annie's "and then blah blah blah" inserted here] then there's a family... 2 women and a little girl and the little girl is playing around them, and we are amused... youngins' r ignorant which make them innocent and cute ya'know?... she's running around, and the old man tries to ask her a question, just to be funny, but the lil girl doesn't notice... we continue to smile and all that jazz, then they leave... then i think about life itself and blah blah blah... young old blah blah blah... then the wife comes back... and she has more life than he does (she can walk without a cane unlike him)... so i'm thinkin' at least a 5 year age difference... so then he tries to stand up, and she helps him up, and instead of him carrying his own bag, she says "o let me get that dear" and she carries his belongings... and it's like dang... now, THAT's what i call "the good in people"... vvhatever, just my thoughts... i open the door for them and the lady thanx me and says "ur mother has taught u very well" and i say, "yeah, that's so true" ... cuz it is true, i believe i'm more like my mom... unfortunately/fortunately... so then that made me have a good feeling and i texted someone saying 'f--- ... soemthing i forgot what i said'... then a black family comes in and an old, big black guy stays behind and sits next to me... while the rest of his family goes, and i'm thinkin'... dang, what would i do at that age and such... but then i had to leave... mistress was calling...
then, i get a call in the car... a person i care about goes to the ER... so, i'm not externally freakin' out... but i'm like freakin' A... WTH would i do without 'em, so i'm like damn... can't really do anything but hope for the best... and then my birthday buddies' party and my cousin's grad party, it was chillaxing, but i felt helpless about the people i care about... then the next day... another person i care about goes to the ER and i'm all... freaks-in-a-mythologies!!!... so i try and check up on both people hopin' they're not freakin dead... TRUE, the probability of either of them dying was slim, but i was worrying more than i had to... and now, both people r good to go and happy and i'm happy, but of course i dont' show it, cuz i'm a "kewl" recluse like that.
and we all need somebody sometimes..


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 5:47 PM [+] ::
...

hmmm

i AM weird... how else can i stress this out???
not just weird, but also a morbid mind...
i know u, dear reader, that u also took pleasure in... *thinks whether to type it out or not... eh, at least everl0ng knows what the end of the sentence would be...

i, too, am tired of being nice
i, too, am tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt
all too well than allya'all combined...

and i know this road too well, and yet i still refuse to GO the other way... i THINK about it, but no... i tell myself i'm set... and whatever obstacles or pathways take me a different road than i expect, then so be it... but right now... i'll take the pathway i'm on as long as it is available... *rubs nose

i'm out like dis... *poof*


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 10:58 PM [+] ::
...

hm i could study, but not
lots on my mind, not the usual stuff either... well... hm...
i have to pee...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 9:24 PM [+] ::
...

i was lookin' at Angel's grad night pictures and i sez to meself "o yeah, i remember what i was goin' to put on my previous post about grad night"... so, besides that i'm no dancer... and the only ride i went on was big thunder mountain (the train one right?) with only edward and chamuel... watching matrix on the bus and not hanging out with my old school friend annnnd just walkin' around and... the HOOD thing and my pens being confiscated... that was horrible... that started the night bad... SOABI0TCH... i'm starting to get pissed off again... what else... o yeah... me, noel, dominic and carolyn walking to our cars and i distinctly remember asking what they were doing afterwards... noel said he's just gonna drop dominic and carolyn to his car cuz he has to go to court that morning... about a ticket... so i'm like o o k... i'll just go home and knock out... thinking that everyone just went home... BUUUUUT months later i find out that he and other people all ate out at Dennys ... an di'm thinking'... "mutherfuther!!!" i wanted to eat out with all ya'all... :-(... yes, i felt sad... but yeah... hmm... i only put extreme seasons... haha jk... extreme feelings on this site... mostly bad... but vvhatever... the good come from time to time and ... hmm... does it balance out... vvhatever the freak ever...
i'm out... like diz *poof*


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 10:03 PM [+] ::
...

i hate it
it all seems in vain
faith?
trust the unknown?

i'm tired

at times like these
don't think
just do

a little bit of everything: balance


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 2:24 AM [+] ::
...

makes me want it less, but why?
i'm just weird like that...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 10:17 AM [+] ::
...

o yeah, one more thing about my prom post...
kymee's friend... Jessica?... she wanted me to go with her cousin... but i declined... yup yup... hah...

what a pointless post... kinda...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 12:26 PM [+] ::
...

01: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4: "He wanted them to be remembered."

02: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?: Fan.


03: What is the last thing you watched on TV?: Game 6 Pistons @ Pacers half time.

04: Time without looking?: 8:45AM

05: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 8:44AM

06: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: besides the music from the computer?... nothing... o wait... my typing and me saying what i'm typing... haha... hahahahaha... moo...haha... HA!!!

07: When did you last step outside?: Last night... Approx. 10:45ishPM

08: What were you doing?: just got home from watch The Day After Tomorrow

09: What are you wearing?: take a wild freakin' guess

10: Did you dream last night?: probably yeah...

11: When did you last laugh?: a little laugh?... typing number 06... a bigger laugh... a scene of the reversal of immigration between USA and Mexico in The Day After Tomoorrow.

12: What are on the walls of the room you are in?: 3 Star Wars Episode II toys: Padme, Anakin, and Obi-Wan... FFVIII hanging poster... 8 FFVIII toys... BATMAN BEYOND Portrait/picture/sculpture thing ($250)... Eeyore's "Above the clouds there is always a rainbow."... a BATMAN picture i painted in Painting class... a BATMA17 self-portrait i painted in Painting class... 5 BATMAN BEYONE: RETURN OF THE JOKER toys... [my name]'s meaning that i got from the carts from the mall... 1st grade little league baseball picture... Taz stick picture from Mexico... 2 of my thingys; uhhh what do u call 'em? talis... hahah uhhh u hang it on ur graduation... hat? thingy... it's strings with the year thingy of ur graduation... i forgot... one for my elementary and the other from highschool... 2 pictures of the illusion pictures; the ones where u have to blur ur eyes to see the picture... My Christian Service Award in 8th grade... my 8th grade class picture covered by the South Park 3rd grade class picture... o yeah, 2 rosaries... a bosco feather metal thing i taped to my wall... string as boobie traps for my GI JOE... a hanger with a lei... clothes, attire, money, more rosaries and a santa hat... o and the door, if that counts as a wall... a mirror...

13: Seen anything weird lately?: me taking a long time typing number 12.

14: What do you think of this thing?: what thing?

15: What is the last film you saw?: The Day After Tomorrow.

eh, gotta stop... i have school in less than 2 hours and i gots stuff to do before then...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 9:01 AM [+] ::
...