:: Dnubirom .....reverof dna dne eht tilnu won ::

:: Monday, June 21, 2004 ::

so yeah, i'm going to blog now...
been up and down the past week or so...
let's see, always wanted to spend time alone on my birthday, being the "kewl" loner type, but my mom kept saying that's bad luck... AND i wanted to release all these videos in my possession but i dont' have my camera to put the final touches... so then so then... my sister's boyfriend's sister's birthday also, dang, i wanted to go, but my sis was very persistent in not letting me go, and i thought about it... vvhatever the freak ever... Full Spectrum Warrior is kewl... short game, i'm almost finished with that... i went to the various malls with my sis's bf's sis for her birthday... at Nordstroms in Cerritos Mall, i sat on a bench, and took off my shoes and sat indian style... just stretchin' out and all that... then, and old man comes up to me... Barely audible and clear, "can i sit there?" and i say sure sure and i scoot over... he tries to make conversation with me, but i seriously could NOT understand him... so i just say my ohhhs and uhhuh things when i dont' know what the other is saying, ya'know?... didn't want to badger him in repeating himself, he might feel bad, ya'know?... i think he was talking about the men's department and women's department... then he became silent, and i thought he thought that i didn't wanna talk, but i was thinkin' "no, i'll have a convo with him... he's old... old people get neglected, and it's a gosh damn unfortunate truth." so then i look at his finger, he has a ring... i ask, who r u with?... he replies... "o, my wife..." continues talking about he bought shoes and she's looking around for make-up and perfume... and i'm thinkin' "that's nice" and he asks, "r u married?" and i smile and say,... "nah nah, i'm just 19"... and then he reassures me... "bah, u have a lot of time"... and everytime someone talks about relationships, i get mix feelings ... [annie's "and then blah blah blah" inserted here] then there's a family... 2 women and a little girl and the little girl is playing around them, and we are amused... youngins' r ignorant which make them innocent and cute ya'know?... she's running around, and the old man tries to ask her a question, just to be funny, but the lil girl doesn't notice... we continue to smile and all that jazz, then they leave... then i think about life itself and blah blah blah... young old blah blah blah... then the wife comes back... and she has more life than he does (she can walk without a cane unlike him)... so i'm thinkin' at least a 5 year age difference... so then he tries to stand up, and she helps him up, and instead of him carrying his own bag, she says "o let me get that dear" and she carries his belongings... and it's like dang... now, THAT's what i call "the good in people"... vvhatever, just my thoughts... i open the door for them and the lady thanx me and says "ur mother has taught u very well" and i say, "yeah, that's so true" ... cuz it is true, i believe i'm more like my mom... unfortunately/fortunately... so then that made me have a good feeling and i texted someone saying 'f--- ... soemthing i forgot what i said'... then a black family comes in and an old, big black guy stays behind and sits next to me... while the rest of his family goes, and i'm thinkin'... dang, what would i do at that age and such... but then i had to leave... mistress was calling...
then, i get a call in the car... a person i care about goes to the ER... so, i'm not externally freakin' out... but i'm like freakin' A... WTH would i do without 'em, so i'm like damn... can't really do anything but hope for the best... and then my birthday buddies' party and my cousin's grad party, it was chillaxing, but i felt helpless about the people i care about... then the next day... another person i care about goes to the ER and i'm all... freaks-in-a-mythologies!!!... so i try and check up on both people hopin' they're not freakin dead... TRUE, the probability of either of them dying was slim, but i was worrying more than i had to... and now, both people r good to go and happy and i'm happy, but of course i dont' show it, cuz i'm a "kewl" recluse like that.
and we all need somebody sometimes..


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 5:47 PM [+] ::
...