:: Dnubirom .....reverof dna dne eht tilnu won ::

:: Tuesday, November 30, 2004 ::

-Duality-
Slipknot

(I push my fingers into my) Eyes
It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it’s made of all the things I have to take
Jesus it never ends, it works its way inside
If the pain goes on…

I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I waited as my time’s elapsed
Now all I do is live with so much fate
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact
You cannot kill what you did not create
I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise
I guess I’ll save the best for last
My future seems like one big past
You’re left with me 'cause you left me no choice

I push my fingers into my eyes
It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache
If the pains goes on I'm not gonna make it!

Put me back together
Or separate the skin from bone
Leave me all the pieces
Then you can leave me alone
Tell me the reality
Is better than the dream
But I found out the hard way
Nothing is what it seems!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it’s made of all
The things I have to take
Jesus it never ends
It works its way inside
If the pain goes on
I'm not gonna make it!

All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
All I've got...all I've got is insane!!!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the thing I am today
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!


*humming -
Lonely! I am so Lonely...
somethin' blah blah blah
blah blah blah blaaah blaaaah
ooooohhh!!!

*blahing; low monotone -
it's the most wonderful time of the
. . .yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear. . .

*singing -

Wash away the thoughts inside...

tears of hope run down my skin
tears for you that will not dry


mistletoe can be deadly if u eat it,
but a kiss can be deadlier if u mean it

i can't sleep if . . . . . .


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 1:54 AM [+] ::
...

it is a flippin' fact that the bad outweighs the good... think about it...
today in socio class, watched a video of My Lai Massacre in the Vietnam War... one Viet lady talked about how... when she was very young, she watched her sister, 14 yrs. old at the time, fighting against an American soldier. The soldier pushed down on top of her and her sister's closed were taken off. Then, the soldier got up and put his clothes back on and shot her. The young girl then left her hiding place and went to her burning home, where in the yard, she saw her whole family stacked upon each other, burning. She then crouched next to her mother and infant brother, who was wrapped in the mother's arms, and she cried helplessly...
in another story, a photographer took a picture of a group of Vietnamese, then turned and walked away. He then heard gunshots, turned around, and saw the group fall. Then it showed the picture he took just before they died... crazy shiznets...
but yeah... that's an open bad
yesterday, my sister, my mom, and i went to eat at a chinese restaurant... good shiznets, ya'know?... my sister saw a memory stick on the floor... i picked it up and my sister and mom said to take it home... my sister said we could use it and my mom said that even if u did turn it in or left it, someone else would use it... so i was hesitant and i took it... went home, and i checked out the 255 pix... it was mostly pictures of a baby, some duck hunting, and beautiful/pretty landscapes, and restaurant pix... judging stereotypically, it seems it was a chinese/asian baby born into a rich white family... haha or not... i could always be wrong... then,
i figgured, do unto others as u would have other do unto u... so i drove back and gave the memory card to the restaurant... the lady went wide-eyed and said YEAH... THANK YOU someone just came in looking for it... so i became temporarily happy... and thought, "it's not do unto others what others do unto u; it should be more like, do unto others that U WOULD LIKE OTHERS DO TO U" ... so if i lost somethin' ... i want it returned...
so yeah... open/closed good
then, there's me eating dinner... microwave food... and my dad and mom saying how my wife should be able to know what i could eat... save lots of money to go out, or she should be able to cook, or what not... then talked about what race she would be... american, filipina, or asian... blah blah blah... dammit it's the holidays
that's closed bad
it's all perspective... and relative... i never understood what is meant when something is described relative... but now i do... and i'll try and explain if u dont' understand... when someone says relative... think of comparing... comparing what is said with the general aspect... yes, i'm very broad, but that's cuz i'm not giving a specific example... another way to describe it, think of perspective... Point of Views... general PoVs to be exact... how does the general population think of what was said... majority and blah blah blah tomorrow my mom leaves her job from Harbor UCLA Medical Center in Torrance/Carson after 25 years... she will now work... somewhere 110N exit Slauson... supposedly she got a better job... at Harbor, she's like a Boss 1, and at the new hospital, she'll be a Boss 3... so 2 jobs higher or vvhatever... that's all


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 7:55 PM [+] ::
...

GAH!!! believe it or not, george
but i believe in jinx...
seriously!!!
like, if i mention to anyone that i'm going to a party later that week, the party gets cancelled or i can't go... if i ever plan anything without it being finalized... it mostly doesn't work... the only thing that EVER worked was the BJs birthday party last year cuz i planned that in 24 hours and a full tank and half of gas...
*sigh
now, about those videos... last year... 2003... i had a valid reason for not finishing it soon... i went to the PI... and then post-grad syndrome hit me... i moved the due date from last day of school... to grad day... from there... to my birthday, then to july 4, then july 17... then before school started...
now... since after the summer, i would avidly work on the videos... like... boom boom boom done done done... and then... my pattern, my schedule would change cuz of vacation... or going out, or family or friend party... i would then move the release date to Holloween, THEN X-mas then new years... ultimately though, there'd be a drought again for vvhatever reason... i'd work myself... hype myself up to finish these videos before every postponed date and just when i'm in the roll of things... someone calls or IMs me asking about the tapes... and i'd give them an update... that would also break my concentration... now, i know it's been over a year and a half, and i don't blame u for asking me... but everytime it's mentioned... i don't get to finish by that due date... so after X-mas... i shot for the anniversary of the Footloose and PCN videos... sometime between March and May... but alas... i broke the silence when i'd ask someone their address and they'd ask y, then they'd get excited and then... i just jinxed myself... well,... i pushed it back to my birthday again... then, again before school started... BUT NOW... it WAS to be slated for a X-mas release... BUT... u 2 just had to happen to IM me at relatively the same time and ask me about it... maybe i'm jinxing the jinx by typing it here, we'll see... or maybe it's MY fault for even reminding u about those videos in my profile... mah bad... that's my fault then :-/ *deep breath, siiigh...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 1:32 AM [+] ::
...

Gah! I hate that guy!!!
my psych 10 class he sits to the right of me... all the time...
fu--in' white boy red neck black talker... well that doesn't bother me
but he takes the whole freakin' arm rest!!! the desks r stadium seating...
keep ur WHOLE arm on the other side... long periods of guy contact makes me very uncomfortable... sure, giving guyz hugs and high fives... i'm all jolly good with that... (except the slapping of the butt, especially among athletes, i never quite understood that) gahhh... and get ur own f---in' supplies... mr. nice guy... hahaha in high school... i'd keep my scantrons in my locker and only take vvhatever necessity to the class... that way, they wouldn't know to ask me for some... also, with food... i'd sit with my white group to eat cuz they wouldn't ask me for food... stingy?... well, f---, give me my selfishenss...
this white guy here, last week he borrowed a pen... an eraseable... sure, i forgot to ask it back... but today, he asked for a scantron... AND then, minutes later, a pencil... i asked about my eraseable pen... he just kept silent... yah... shut ur mouth... mother freaker, i KNOW he tries to cheat off me... it's not like i could change seats... well i could, but i dont' cuz i don't wanna make it obvious that i'm tryin' to avoid him... vvhatever the freak ever... i didn't ask for the pencil back either cuz i don't wanna wait for his anal to finish his exam... which he didn't study for either... pffff... f--- everything...
there, now u know what's goin' on in my life... in important detail


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 11:53 AM [+] ::
...

*sigh...
what a coincidence...
Mandy Moore introduced Josh Groban and he sang Remember When it Rained


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 10:26 PM [+] ::
...

so i beat FFVII yesterday and i'm still feelin ba-la

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave
So, Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave, oh


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 1:27 AM [+] ::
...