:: Dnubirom .....reverof dna dne eht tilnu won ::

:: Friday, January 26, 2007 ::

i always knew my feelings and actions would oust me.

why do you think i kept it all in?

To protect you from me.

and me from you.

.irrelevant.


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 6:35 PM [+] ::
...

Why do I feel I would rather be kicked down and stayed down instead of being picked up only to be pushed down again?


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 3:44 PM [+] ::
...

all i have ever known is to quit.
That's the only sure thing.

first work...
next is school...

watch... 30 grand of school gone like that.


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 3:03 AM [+] ::
...

and it got better before it got worse...

the irony of miscommunication...


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 4:48 PM [+] ::
...

worthless... so worthless... all in one night...

all in one night.

..


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 3:53 AM [+] ::
...

I've been such a fool, Vassili. Man will always be a man. There is no new man. We tried so hard to create a society that was equal, where there'd be nothing to envy your neighbour. But there's always something to envy. A smile, a friendship, something you don't have and want to appropriate. In this world, even a Soviet one, there will always be rich and poor. Rich in gifts, poor in gifts. Rich in love, poor in love.


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 2:49 PM [+] ::
...

Feelings are irrelevent in a communistic society.
That's y it wouldn't work.

Oh, how not to feel greed or envy.


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 2:21 PM [+] ::
...

life's a roller coaster
+ a few day's before New Year's I was home alone because my family went to Vegas. It was GREAT!!!
- I met up with them on the Saturday and well,
New Year's sucked anal to the point where i was laughing.
But i got over it.

-- Last monday night sucked anal at work because... work sucks.
It was the worse night working there.

+ Last night, was the best night at work because I got a dollar raised and moved to a different position.

++ This morning was even greater because my parents are taking an impromptu vacation to the PI. They are leaving tonight and will be gone for 12 days.
HOME ALONE WOO HOO!

--- an hour ago,... i'm talking to teresa and all is grand,... until i got curious.
Previously, i knew she and her BF had a bet. And i knew what was the consequence of losing that bet. Today, I learned of the outcome: She Lost.
I knew I shouldn't have asked the details, but with my fake smile and hidden pain, I asked more of her story. But it's o k, as long as they have fun.

and now i feel more alone than ever.

Yeah... thanx for reading.


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 2:17 PM [+] ::
...

Horrible NY'sDay

I wanted to stay home alone.

I dislike vegas greatly. ~ I have bad luck in gambling.

Here's a bed time story if you're not asleep yet.

So the plan was to have everyone in the family be together at midnight on the strip. While waiting for midnight, i went with my sisters' and their respective husband and boyfriend out onto the strip. Already in a bad mood, i didn't like the crowd and we got separated twice. Going back the third time, I said screw it and went to look for the rest of mi familia.
Meanwhile, in the hotel room, my mom, her brother and his family were going to go gamble while my dad wanted to stay in the room and play bowling on the Wii. Yes, the Wii!!! The Adults seriously play it more than my cousins and I do.
for seriously.
The plan for my dad was to meet up with them at 11PM.
anyway... My mom in her excitingly fickle ways calls my dad and forces him to leave the room before 11PM. ~ this in turn, starts the spark in my dad. He goes down and meets with them.
Apparently, they go outside, but my mom wants to wait for us kids inside. Unfortunately, you can't re-enter the casino/hotel without the card key because of the countless people. Everyone, but my dad, goes back inside. My dad was behind the group and got seperated amidst the crowd and couldn't get inside. My dad stays outside angry, talking on the cell phone to my mom, "You wanted me to come down, I came down. Go outside, go outside. Go Inside Go inside.~ I can't!" When I meet up with my mom alone, while the others went the other way, she's talking to him on the phone and is telling him to come back inside cuz she has the keycard. But he's trying to convince us to come outside. My mom is flustered beacuse of the crowd, so she doesn't want to go outside. My dad spites back and stays outside (for a total of 2 hours alone). I'm alone with my mom standing at the door. She watches the fireworks, to which i didn't know midnight struck cuz i didn't hear a countdown. I just leaned against the wall, staring at the hot dog vendors making hot dogs.
Midnight strikes, I notice there's no line so I buy a hot dog. From then on, My Night Gets Better whilst everyone else is angry for some reason or other.

I take pleasure in other people's pain.

After meeting up with my sisters again and going out with them till 3AM, we come back in the middle of a shouting arguement between our parents.

.fin.


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 3:22 AM [+] ::
...