:: Dnubirom .....reverof dna dne eht tilnu won ::

:: Monday, March 12, 2007 ::

"One aims for perfection in ones life, but one doesn't find it very often.
...
You see, I think there comes a time when a man has to ask himself whether he wants a life of happiness or a life of meaning.
...
Two very different paths. I mean to be truely happy, a man must live absolutely in the present. No thought of what's gone before, and no thought of what lies ahead. But a life of meaning, a man is condemned to wallow in the past and obsess about the future. My guess is that you've done quite a bit of obsessing of yours this past few days."


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 5:06 PM [+] ::
...

today at school, a realization dawned upon me.
and it came from a "shy" teacher. ~ actually she's very observative and knows how to make you feel freakin' uncomfortable. She's very "f---in'" verbal and makes great points. She definately will give you her honest POV and will tell how things aren't that happy happy joy joy, yet at the same time, it can be.
She individually brokedown each of her students, telling them their faults. With me, I've heard it all before. What I've already known I've heard it from others. Except two things. She didn't just talk about what she and others thought of me. She said what I thought about myself. And you know what? She's right. I am recessive/protective with a thick barrier. The way I walk and talk. Despite this insight, I agreed with her. The number one thing that suprised me: she wondered if anybody asked me about me. She knows I'm a listener and can hold a conversation with proper feedback, interest, and similarities with another, but she wondered if they ever asked me what I do, how I have been.
I am the one who ask all the questions. Yeah, I like to listen, but it made me feel very empty inside to realize that no one asked me my interests. I digress a little, there are those who ask me, but when i answer, I get an instant notion that they're uninterested by my answer and just smile and nod. And no, it's not only in my head, people literally end our conversation by directing their attention elsewhere. My sister always asks me to shorten my stories or answers. So, I do. I have tried long answers, short answers, adequate answers, but i guess i'm not interesting to them to have them ask more about me. No one is interested in me. Bah! yeah, there's family, but you, reader, should know what I mean.
Unless I find someone interested in me, I'll be alone. Not only that, I have to equally be interested in them. I feel vereally bothered. I can't sleep.

.emptiness.


c-ya:-)


-j

:: j 10:31 PM [+] ::
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